afraid of fear?

I was thinking today about a lot of things and I was working on some homework and there was this article about fears.

Fear (says wikipedia) "is an emotional response to a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such aspain or the threat of danger." There are fears that can paralyze your body and some can paralyze your mind. One thing I am most afraid of is people seeing me vulnerable or being vulnerable. So to avoid that I put up walls. When my ex broke up with me I did not want him to see me hurt, so that he would never know how bad it hurt, I acted like it was fine. When my friends hurt me or my family I act like it is fine because I am afraid people will see me vulnerable and able to get hurt. So I act tough.

That is kinda funny because I am not a very tough looking person. I am about 5 ft 5 in, dirty blonde hair and not very frightening.

Afraid of vulnerability has hurt, in some ways, my walk with Christ. It has hindered me in fully committing myself to him and being able to feel vulnerable and giving Him my all. What I seem to be most scared of is giving everything and not being accepted and also being hurt in the process. I know the facts of God never leaving but it is hard sometimes to have faith in the unseen. When in life I have been hurt by people I can see it is a strange concept sometimes to trust in something/someone who is not there. And as a Christian I sometimes do struggle with this.

I just lost my train of thought....but just something to chew on :)

Happy (late) Easter!