another year older = another year wiser

Today is my birthday! It's been a blast so far (and it's only 4:30 in the afternoon) It is my 21st and it does feel weird to have passed this big milestone. I know this one of the last birthdays for a while that have cards with the age actually on them. I have about 10 cards on my wall that have the number 21 on the front.
I woke up this morning to tripping over a few balloons my roommates had put in our bathroom hallway. The walls had posters on them with random pictures of me that said some form of 'happy birthday'. So I got ready and headed out to class...when I walked outside my door and the hallway walls had posters everywhere. All the way out of my dorm were pictures of me and signs saying happy birthday. I love my friends :) Then got a chance to open cards from my family and friends that I received in the mail. (gotta love mail as a college student) People said happy birthday to me as I was walking around campus. My one friend came up to me loudly singing happy birthday! It's cool but weird getting all the attention for a day.
My friend Jarid called me at lunch and it was so great to hear from him! (since he lives in california I don't see him much) Then a calls from my grandma and great aunt and uncle. Then a call from a random number saying someone sent me an edible arrangements bouquet! I have never gotten one before!! And I am waiting now for him to drop it off...the best part is I have no clue who sent it. I'm trying to think of people but I think it is more fun not knowing.
Which that mind set it kinda ironic with what I have been going through lately. Being a senior in college people have stopped just asking what your major is and asking what I am going to do with it next year. I know God wants me to work with teenagers in some form of ministry. But not knowing where I will be or who I will be with in a year is, yes exciting, but at the same time kinda scary. Not knowing is scary and learning to trust God when you have no clue what is going to happen in your life is...hard. I do not know what to expect and as much as I love surprises I would like to know some things.
Trusting God has been popping up a lot in my life lately. Through devos, chapel and one of my friends this week through an email. I feel like He is maybe trying to tell me something. Now all I need to do is just listen.
From one of my cd's I got today for my birthday:  by Lecrae Background
"I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead"



So I think I will try to let God do the driving and I'll just be the passenger in the background...cause I know I get in the way. 

I'm gunna drive...

Ever have just a completely crazy idea that is so crazy it just might work?? Well I have one of those and it makes no sense and so much sense all at the same time! So I'm going to write it out so 1) I don't forget and 2) that is actually makes somewhat some type of sense.
So one of my friends from FLI is getting married this October and invited the whole institute to come to her wedding. I am so excited for her! She is such a sweet person and she was a part of my life group so we spent a bunch of time together. Her wedding happens to fall on October 21 of this year. Which happens to be during my fall break. I was looking to go somewhere during fall break too, to see some of my friends and this was perfect!
So then started my small predicament. See she lives in Oklahoma and I go to school in Pennsylvania. Not the closest of states. So my first thought was to look up flights. Now flights to Oklahoma are so expensive! I don't understand it really. I got a flight out to Colorado this summer and it was cheaper than Oklahoma. And the flight would be taking me to Denver or Dallas then a transfer flight to OK. So that didn't really make sense either.
So next thought....road trip!! I have a friend out here at school that went to FLI with me and asked him if he wanted to road trip it out there. He said he'd think about it but wasn't sure yet. So I started planning different routes. So this is what I came up with...
I have family in Virginia so I could start out drive 4 hrs or so to VA and hang out for a lil and have a nice driving break. Then start out on my 10 hr drive to TN to possibly pick up another friend. So I could drive 5 hours then take a good rest then drive the last 5 hours. So that would be the first day. Stay with her that night. Next day! I (or we) would leave TN and make our way up to Springfield, Missouri where my other friend lives (who wants to go to the wedding) That  would be around a 7 hr drive. But not too bad if we switch on and off. Then stay with her that night then the next day would be the wedding. So from Missouri we would drive the easy 3 hours to the wedding and our friend (who is getting married) has somewhere for us to stay :) So it all works out! Plus I might even get to see my one friend (I mentioned him in a previous post) and possibly surprise him. :)
So it all kinda works out! And the same thing on the way back except maybe stopping at my cousins school in TN to stay with her a night.
I am ready to go! Now I just have to wait over a month for it to happen! It seems to all be falling into place and it's getting me excited to see some of my old friends again and come one...who doesn't love a good road trip!
And I will post how is goes after the trip...hopefully I won't break down somewhere...that reminds me I should get my car checked before I go...OH and make a rockin' playlist :)

"..and now I patiently wait"

Taking things day by day. That sounds so easy sometimes. Like just relax and not worry about the future because God is in control. Just take things day by day because then you can live in the moment and have more fun. Sometimes I feel like taking things day by day is harder than it sounds. I'm a senior in college. What comes next for me? I only have a year to figure my whole life out it seems. Sometimes I wish God could send me a memo on what I need to do or how things are suppose to pan out.

I'm not usually a person who worries a lot or a big planner. I'd rather take things as they come...kinda like day by day. So what makes it so difficult to take some things day by day and some not?? Is there such a thing as not caring enough? Like being too laid back on life?

I understand trusting God completely and knowing that His will is best for us and He knows what is best for us. But in some instances I wish He could tell us what that plan is. Is it wrong to just be too chill for everything in life? So chill that you don't do or worry about anything because you know God is going to "handle it" so to say. Does that even make sense?

Maybe I'm just rambling but I know some things will be hard to take day by day..but I'll be praying that I can do it with God's help. And hopefully that's possible. But then again...anything is possible with God.

make new friends but keep the old...

Friends are so important! I am starting to really realize that. Or God reminded me this morning how important Christian community is. In my small group this past semester we spent every wednesday night going through Acts 2:42-47.

"They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved."

We looked at community in terms of relationships, worship, hospitality, prayer and breaking of bread. It was such a blessing to get together with these wonderful women and sisters in christ and talk about community and learn what God wanted us to take out of Christian community.

I was trying to just have it be God and I and try not to let my personal insecurities take up others time. Then I realized it cant be like that. Christian community is really important. You need those Christian friends to build you up spiritually and help keep you grounded and be able to call you out on things when you start to get carried away. And that can happen sometimes with me. I love my friends and its good to have a reminder how blessed I am to have them in my life. I am at school for the summer and my friends aren't here and it's been a little hard not having that influence I had during the year. I came from a program with GREAT community and coming back to anything less has been a bit hard to get used to. Yes, I miss my friends but its good to know how much they love and care about me and how blessed I am to have them in my life.

Seasons of Love

No the title has nothing do to with love and stuff. I just like that song from rent and this post has to do with seasons. Leaving Colorado in the end of April was tough for me. It was the end of a season and the beginning of another. The changing of seasons sometimes is painful. I know a lot of people get sick when seasons change. You can say I was spiritually sick for a while. So as I was trying to figure things out one of my devos really spoke to me.

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." ~Isaiah 43:18-19

At first I read that verse and was like, "forget?? why do I want to forget??" But I realized I was dwelling too much on what had happened and still living in the past. And when I do that I miss what is right in front of me. Which is God. I was starting to forget how He understands what I am going through and I can lean on Him. I know that a new season is coming in my life and I know God will be working through me in so many ways! And to tell you the truth I can not wait!!

I am learning about being vulnerable too. I know that sometimes it is necessary. I have been known to be really good at hiding what I am really feeling. In the long run that never seems to pan out well for me. I am realizing that it is not good for anyone. There is someone in my life I know I need to be completely honest and open with and that scares me. I am scared I will be rejected, but who does not fear that. But I know we both deserve the honesty and I know that stepping out will be something I need desperately. So that will be exciting and nerve wracking all together!

Besides all that I got a chance to visit some of my close friends from FLI this past weekend in Colorado springs! It was a blast!! I also got to see

some of my old professors and staff members from the institute and met some of the current students. It was a great time to see old and make new friends. The five days went way to fast and I am not a fan of the humidity and bugs of the east coast :p Here is a pic of some of my friends and I white water rafting

and hiking! (side note: no one fell out of the raft while rafting! we beasted it even when it started to thunderstorm!)

The Vineyard's Song

I started through Isaiah this morning and one of the passages really hit me. I reached Isaiah 5 and it is a parable. This parable (or story) is about a man who is going to build a vineyard on a 'fertile hillside'. He cleared the land of stones and picked the best plants to go there. He then built a watch tower and a winepress and waits for the crops to come.

Of course as any farmer or gardener you assume that if you do everything right you will get good crops. Well so did this planter...When the vines started to grow it only produced 'bad fruit.' So Isaiah asks:

"What more could have been done for my vineyard than I have done for it? When I looked for good grapes, why did it yield only bad?"

He then describes what he is going to do because the fruit turned out bad.

"I will take away its hedge, and it will be destroyed; I will break down its wall, and it will be trampled. I will make it a wasteland, neither pruned nor cultivated, and briers and thorns will grow there. I will command the clouds not to rain on it."

After reading that I stopped. And re-read it and re-read it again. It hit me...hard. The passage is talking about how God plants good seeds in our lives for us to prosper and grow. But usually we turn out 'bad fruit' so to say. So He takes it away from us. He breaks us down so we are vulnerable. He makes it dry and makes us thirst for Him but He won't send rain.

I realized yesterday that I have been feeling kind of comfortable where I am right now and it put me in a funk. Coming back from Colorado and the amazing time I had out there fueled me for a little bit but not my life has turned mundane. I want the uncomfortable again because it made me grow. Spending a semester at FLI, during the first week I asked God to break down my walls (cause I have quite a few) and to make me vulnerable. He did indeed do that. I struggled through a lot of things and came out so much stronger in the end. But I miss the mind bending and heart mending conversations I had with my friends out there. And I am starting to thirst for that kind of spiritual growth again.

Another big thing that hit me with this passage was; "I will take away its hedge, and it will be destroyed..." Vines need something to grown on but take that away and they fall hard. Sometimes you can grow on something that is not good for you...or depend too much. So when that is taken away....it's really bad. In Colorado I met this guy, (at the institute) and we got along really well. I don't really have a definition for it but we were pretty much kinda dating when we were out there. But with him living in Oklahoma and me in new jersey...long distance has been really hard and we are seeing what the summer brings. When we graduated and left the institute it was really hard to say goodbye to everyone because I live so far! My one friend, when he was leaving, gave me a hug and said, "Don't let your guy be put before God, because if he is, God will take it away." That stuck with me...even though, at the time I was half asleep, he had just woken me up.

I have given my relationship with him up to God a lot and believe me when I say...easier said than done. The long distance is hard and even harder when there is no definition of what we are. So I have been building my trust that God will let it all work out. But yes because I am human, I have struggled in keeping God first and when ever that happens I see it slipping away. And can hear God just saying, "Kaitlin, watch it. Remember me and who I am." So as I continue to grow and trust in Him I hope I can be the vine that is not dependent on some bad stuff (I don't know much about vines) but on a strong, sturdy, stable thing that won't let me down. And I will be working on letting that be God.

changed forever

Let's see...life has been a whirlwind the past few months and it would take a book to talk about everything I have been through. But now I am at school for the summer working on my tan at the pool as a lifeguard! But there has been a lot of down time which is unusual for me. So getting used to it has been a transition.

So to preface a little bit. I spent the past semester in Colorado Springs, Colorado at Focus Leadership Institute. It was an...amazing experience. There are so many better words I can use for the semester but it's hard to put it in other words. I did a lot of reading, exploring the beautiful mountains of Colorado and had experiences and met people that have changed my life forever. And although that may sound so cliche and redundant it is so true and there are no other ways to explain it.

So being home now away from my amazing friends has been quite the transition. My class had 44 people in it and with classes together, meals together, living in apartments together, and pretty much doing everything together to being spread across the country has been hard. These people made me think and ask questions that I had never thought about before. I started thinking about things like:

Why am I the way I am?

What has shaped me?

Is what I believe really real?

What baffles my mind and breaks my heart?

Where do I see myself in a few years; school-wise, spiritually, ect?

What is one attribute about God that annoys or upsets you the most?

...and many others. My class mates and I wrestled with what it means to be a young Christian adult in todays culture and society and how we can be world changers. How we can bring the truth and light of Christ to a world who is so against us. I learned so much and I know I will be processing it for years to come. Which will be the fun part.

I only wish I wasn't 16 hours from my closet friend.

"I'm not going back....I'm moving ahead."

FINALS! ahhhhh I hate finals week. There are pros and cons I guess. Pros: it is the end of the semester and classes are finally over! Plus the holiday season is right around the corner :) and Christmas trees are everywhere! cons: the work. I mean how can professors expect you to cram everything you learned from the whole semester into one test and only have a week or so to do it all...AND have one for each class. I get the point but it is still tough. Walking around campus this weekend there was an ominous feeling. Like everyone was anxious but dead at the same time. I for one do not really want to go home for break. My school has turned into a home for me. With my friends and just having my schedule and everything here. It is always good to be here. I love my family, I do. But there is just something about being at school and growing up that makes me want to stay.

I also want to stay because next semester I am not coming back. I am studying away for a semester out in Colorado Springs, Colorado at Focus Leadership Institute! I am really excited to go out there and more excited about the experiences I will have and the friends I will make. BUT the down side is I do not get to see my friends for a really long time. I was thinking about it driving to church this morning and I almost cried (and I am not a crier) It is so sad. I know it will be a good experience but it will be different. I am ready to grow in my faith and leadership and just in myself. I am excited to see how much I change after a semester out there. So this week is going to be hard for me....as well as studying, I have to pack and say good bye to my best friends until I can see them again in April. *sigh*

...well back to studying!

bad moods

I hate bad moods. Especially when you do not know why you are really in a bad mood. And every little thing gets you frustrated or mad. I had one of those days today. Little things just seemed to get me frustrated. And that would get me more frustrated. Why do we let ourselves get that way? why do we let little things bother us so much?

I am reading the book Eat Pray Love and the author is in Rome. She talks about how the Italians are so laid back and don't let many things bother them. I wish America could be like that sometimes. We seem so self centered and focused on our own self we become too concerned about ourselves. By doing that, it seems, everything is a big deal. People don't like us? no worries! Family is bothering you? no worries!

I want to learn to live with no worries and not let the little things bother me. Just to take a deep breath and relax when the world around you is going crazy! But I do not have the money to go to Rome to figure that out. So I guess I will stay at home and go from there.

busy bee

I have been working so much the whole summer and haven't had a chance to write a lot. Which is kind of a bummer because I have come to realize I really like to write, journal, ect. It is fun. My thoughts always seem to be in tangle so I write to be able to understand them better haha. I guess that is a good thing. Writing for me can sometimes help me think through a problem.

Well it was my mom's birthday yesterday and we had a lot of fun. My brothers and sister and I (plus my mom) went to a flee market in the morning and surprisingly everyone acted nice. No fights and we all enjoyed ourselves.

I wich I had more to write but I am currently drawing a blank. I must run to the back though to deposit a pay check :) So I will have to say peace!

"when we go forward we miss the things we leave behind, that's what make our hearts so full."

Its' weird how fast I've grown up, so to say. I went to my youngest brother and sisters graduation tonight from eighth grade and it was strange. I don't remember mine at all. Just bits and pieces. After the ceremony I was walking through all the new graduates hugging and crying like they would never see each other again. To my other brother he laughed and wondered why they were taking it so seriously but at their point in life it is huge for them. And it must be weird going to a new place next year. I know I was scared. I went from a class of 108 to a class of 500 and it was weird. I miss the days where worrying about friends and what to wear was the worst of my worries. I go back to my old middle school and elementary school and I know few of the teachers because all the teachers that taught me are slowly retiring.

I've come to see the value of old memories and activities. But as much as i miss the old days I know I have to move on because that is a part of growing up. I have played field hockey for 8 years and I decided not to continue this fall. It has always been a part of who I am. I know people stereotype me as an athlete (and some of those stereotypes aren't good) But this year at school I have kind of decided to start over. In growing up I am in the process of finding myself and I am changing some of my priorities. I know I'll miss it and my friends on the team but its not over. And like those kids in 8th grade don't know, i'll still see my friends. But "as we go forward we miss the things we leave behind. That's what makes our hearts so full."

I'm not quite sure if any of that made sense or was necessary, just trying to think out loud. :)

draw me closer

So I got a new cd called Ordinary Dreamers by Group 1 Crew and I love it! Some of the songs really express what I have been feeling lately and I feel God through it.

This is the chorus of one of their songs....Closer:

Take my life, I need you now
Draw me closer draw me closer
I'm on my knees, I'm crying out
Draw me closer I want to be closer to you

I like it a lot! And it kinda goes along with my life right now. Just some things to ponder.

dreams

what I find in my dreams are what are special to me

but when I bring those dreams back into reality....

I can only dream.

We're the kids...we're the kids...we're the kids of the future

I got a text from my roommate this morning saying "Don't fear the future, God's already there." I am a college student and lets say I think of the future a lot. Like what kind of major do I want to take to get a good job? What kind of job do I want? Always about the future.....I feel like I am not old enough to be making these decisions that are being forced upon me.

Like for instance I play field hockey at the college I go to and I am currently deciding whether or not I want to play next year. I have played for 8 years and it has been my life for that long. I love the sport but feel God pulling me in other directions. But I am not sure if it is really him or my head.

You know from Mulan where, I think it is in Mulan II, where she is talking to these three princesses about their arranged marriages and they ask about what she would listen to her heart or her head. And she said she would listen to her heart. I wish I could do that. My heart and head seemed to be intertwined that I can not tell the difference.

There is a song by DHT called "Listen to your heart":

Listen to your heart

when he's calling for you

listen to your heart

there's nothing else you can do

I don't know where you're going

and I don't know why

but listen to your heart

before you tell him goodbye

I like the song and those lyrics are really nice. I know I need to start listening to my heart and to God. It will be hard I know because sometimes my heart can feel things that are wrong. But that is why I have God on my side.

This is still hard for me to figure out what I need to decide. But I know God's plans for me will come and they will not be late. (Habakkuk 2:3)

sorry I rambled I am a bit drained

afraid of fear?

I was thinking today about a lot of things and I was working on some homework and there was this article about fears.

Fear (says wikipedia) "is an emotional response to a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such aspain or the threat of danger." There are fears that can paralyze your body and some can paralyze your mind. One thing I am most afraid of is people seeing me vulnerable or being vulnerable. So to avoid that I put up walls. When my ex broke up with me I did not want him to see me hurt, so that he would never know how bad it hurt, I acted like it was fine. When my friends hurt me or my family I act like it is fine because I am afraid people will see me vulnerable and able to get hurt. So I act tough.

That is kinda funny because I am not a very tough looking person. I am about 5 ft 5 in, dirty blonde hair and not very frightening.

Afraid of vulnerability has hurt, in some ways, my walk with Christ. It has hindered me in fully committing myself to him and being able to feel vulnerable and giving Him my all. What I seem to be most scared of is giving everything and not being accepted and also being hurt in the process. I know the facts of God never leaving but it is hard sometimes to have faith in the unseen. When in life I have been hurt by people I can see it is a strange concept sometimes to trust in something/someone who is not there. And as a Christian I sometimes do struggle with this.

I just lost my train of thought....but just something to chew on :)

Happy (late) Easter!

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday and sometimes it is good to just set aside some time for thought. I am home for Easter break and the sun is shinning and the weather is amazing! It is weird to think that today, thousands of years ago, Christ was crucified. It is strange to think that he would do that for someone like me and someone like you. For everyone: the murderer, the widow, the CEO and the waitress. I was just sitting in my room earlier and one song came to mind. It is called Why by Nichole Nordeman. It is an amazing song that day in the past the day Christ was hung on that cross. The first time I heard it I think I cried.

I remember playing it for one of my classes in high school and there was a silence after it finished. It makes you think and it is a beautiful song. I hope you get a chance to listen to it this Easter season and think about what Christ did for you because he loves you. It was weird to think how much in a week things had changed for Christ. He walked into Jerusalem on a donkey and people were praising his entry and then just 5 days later those same people were yelling "crucify! blasphemer!" and wanted him dead.

I think I am going to enjoy the beautiful weather outside. I hope everyone has a great Easter with family and stop to think of why we celebrate this day. The day we celebrate His resurrection and the beginning of new life! :)

left out

I hate feeling left out. It something I think everyone hates. You know that feeling where it feels like everyone knows something and you do not. The feeling you get when your best friends are hiding things in their life from you or when they are replacing you for someone new and you did not do anything wrong. Yea it kinda stinks. I also hate confrontation...I am so not good at it. I don't like calling people out on things because I feel mean.

This all probably sounds so melodramatic and sappy. But you know when you get in one of those moods that you can not get out of. Yeah I've been stuck in this one for a while and it is only when I am in my dorm room.

I also haven't talked to my heavenly Father in a while and I think that might be hurting me too.

Well this one is short but I think I am going to journal.

Bye

Songs.....

So I think I am going to write down some of my songs that I have written over the years. Well bits and pieces of songs that I think of during classes when I should be paying attention. :x

This is one part I wrote when I was younger. I was kind of trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life....no pressure right :).... but here it is:

becoming me is what im trying to be
to find my footing
on a shattered pathway
following a spinning compass
but i'll end up
becoming me

Letter writing...a dead art form??

So I was reading my devotional book last night, It is called Totally 4 God's by Megan Clinton. It is a great book if you want a good devotional (it is more aimed towards young women) but it is so great! There are so many things that I can relate to. And what makes it good is that she is my age! And she is going through the same things....well just food for thought.

Anyways....in the devo last night it was talking about how relationships are changing around us. I can look on my facebook page and go through my friends and see that I rarely talk to more than half of them anymore. So why have these friends? Just to say you know a lot of people?

I also think it is weird that we are communicating more and more through technology, ok I know I am doing it right now, but it has become such a huge part of our lives. I admit I do use a lot of technology and then I started to think when was the last time I sat down and wrote a letter to a friend. My cousin goes to school in Tennessee, so I rarely get to see her, so why not write a letter?

My roomates theology class professor challenged his class to go on a media fast until the end of the semester. That is 7 more weeks! No music, movies, facebook, and twitter. (they are allowed to use the computer for email, once a day, and school work) I fast from facebook once a week and it is hard for me sometimes. I could not do without music though. That is my life. But who knows maybe giving up something little by little to see how much you really need it. And be able to start focusing on your relationships in real life, not over the airwaves.

I told myself, last night, that I am going to start writing letters to my friends at other schools (and on campus too! Who does not like mail? ) just to keep in touch, you know, the old fashion way :) People did it years ago, why can't we.

Well just some thoughts to ponder. I have to go write a letter :)

Friends first...

So I recently stumbled upon this old blog of mine. I have written one thing on it. One of my new years resolutions was to step out of my comfort zone so here is one way. Put my life online! So I guess i'll see how this goes I highly doubt anyone will read this but who knows.

A little about myself...I am a college student at a small college in Pa...kinda near Philly. I like the school a lot and I am making some great friends here!

So blah blah blah that is all kind of boring so I'll try to think of something more interesting to write about.

Recently I have decided to give up dating for a while. Now before you start to jump to an assumption. Let me fill you in. I am not, on my terms or anything, not attractive (wow that sounds conceited) I guess I can be called decent looking. Not like a Kate Hudson or Jennifer Aniston. But I do not think I am ugly, per say. Also I am not on the other end of the spectrum...like I am not a slut going after every guy and I need a break.

I have given up dating to get back to basics. You know, before dating enveloped our lives. Remember back when you could run around and play with who ever you wanted and it did not matter if you were dating someone or they were dating someone. It was just fun to hang out with people of the opposite gender. FOR FUN! How many times have you done that? If alot??? I admit I am jealous of you.

I sometimes wish I could hang out with a guy, for fun, and not let people get the wrong assumptions. (Same with me though) I grew up learning that if a guy wanted to hang out it means he likes you....in a romantic way. I grew up in a small town and when guys and girls hung out it usually meant they were hooking up. So when a guy asks to hang out...sometimes I admit I can get the wrong idea.

But there are times I wish people could just get over romance and just be friends. I want to marry my best friend. So in order to do that you have to be friends first, right?? I read a lot and a few of the books I have read are about friends and a guy liking the girl and vice versa... they are first. Then that friendship turns into love and they live happily ever after. (sometimes) I am not saying that that always happens.....hey i like to read Nicholas Sparks :) But you know....

just some thoughts to chew on :)

ps...i ramble sometimes :)